When we were staying in Marari Beach in Kerela (at the ‘Colonial Club’ as Mike called it) one of the families he chatted to were ending their holiday in Marari after having started in the north (we’re doing the reverse). They warned us to be wary of the loos as we ventured north, they told us they were better in the south. 

Our overnight train journeys started our preparations – and induced a serious case of leg crossing in me because I was reluctant to use the squat-style hole in the floor toilet. However, arriving at the Trident Hotel in Mumbai, we have been treated to one of the poshest bathrooms I think I’ve ever used. I’m familiar with the notion of an open plan kitchen – but our room has a sort of open plan bathroom. Just a huge wall of glass divides the bed from the shower – so someone could sit on the bed and watch someone else in the shower – and worse, beyond to the lavatory! But fear not, if privacy is required, then at the touch of a switch a blind sandwiched inside the glass wall descends. 

Then there is more to the loo than meets the eye. I don’t often use a loo where there are instructions on the inside of the loo seat. After doing the necessaries there’s a little silver handle at the back of the seat that can be used – but it’s important to have read the instructions first, because if you haven’t, you might be somewhat taken aback when the built-in water feature sends a gentle jet of liquid up your backside! We’ve come from a one hole loo to a hole in one in less than 24 hours!